My experience growing up queer and Armenian is a set of parallel lines. The first line is my Armenian life: growing up in Armenian church, Armenian grandparents, traditional values soaked in Christian morality.
The second line is my queer life: attending a gifted school, having many queer classmates, coming out when I was 16 and pursuing a career in the arts. Two worlds, two cultures both rich in history, trauma and perseverance simultaneously working on me but riding on separate tracks. I was running forward into growth regardless and independent from the others.
I never knew what a queer Armenian looked like. What clothes they wore, what music they listened to, what jobs they had, what their friends looked like… I obviously knew what a queer person looked like. And I knew what an Armenian person looked like. But a queer Armenian, despite being exactly what I am, seemed as foreign to me as when my great-grandma arrived in Detroit after surviving genocide. Whatever culture that a queer Armenian lives within, I couldn’t imagine it. I never found that culture in writings, photos, the internet… let alone my daily life. So how could I live as a queer Armenian when my mind goes blank trying to conceptualize this identity?